addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
all of this helplessness inside
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
is what i pretend to be
things are getting rather blurry now. everything actually. from school, the people in it, to training and my beeping injury.
i really wonder- is it wrong? is it wrong to feel so irritated and angry and upset when i see people breaking school rules. even when i know i shouldn't bother because afterall, i'm not a prefect anymore right? not laden with the responsibility of enforcing discipline. it's been hard, the change and all. but i mean, seriously. every single freaking morning, you see them breaking the rules. disrespecting the set of rules that has been set for every rgs student to follow. i know it only goes to show what kind of character and personality they have. but i feel so useless watching them just do those things every morning. and it gets worse every morning. maybe the whole idea of school rules is dumb. maybe they don't see the use in having order in society. i have no idea. but i can't respect people when they can't follow a simple set of instructions. i can't respect them when they can't practice discipline when it comes to eating in class, playing dumb cards and listening to their ohsoexpensive mp3 players. what's the whole rationale of school rules? why don't we just chuck them aside, not obey them. come to school in whatever we fancy.. i imagined that for a while. and it was pure chaos. how can i not care? it's my class, my friends, my school. i respect my school. why can't they? today i got so sick of seeing them do it, that i just ran out of class. don't think anyone noticed, ahha didn't expect them to anyway. who cares right? so i just went down to prefects' rm. fielers rock. seems like their the only people whom i can feel like i truly fit in with. but now i don't know. haha sigh see, so complicating.
well how i've been feeling in class lately has led me to think more about what we as teenagers seek at our age. i came down to acceptance. sounds a bit immature though. hur.
okay have you heard my ambition? this is it. i want to quit school, and i'm going to ruin the world. i will make sure all education institutions are rid off. then the world literacy rate will drop. then! technology will come to a halt or maybe even go back! yup so living conditions will then deprove. no more nice condos or apartments or bungalows. we will all live in caves. yes, CAVES. i want the world to go back to the stone age. where everyone was so jolly. no stress! all you had to worry about was feeding yourself and keeping urself occupied. i will have a pet dinosuar whom i will ride on everyday to hunt for food. i will try to be a vegetarian! so i will boil leaves in a pot and eat soup all day long. good way to lose weight huh. there will be no means of communication- thus no war, no conflicts. everyone will live for themselves. and one day! the sky will fall down and the human race will be wiped out.
fantastic right? thanks. school sucks. all the work. i'm going to reach my stress threshold soon and then i will go jump off a building. anyone want to join? we go together. haha better yet, jump off school building. do you think it's tall enough? well sch building wld be good. then the admin will get into lots of trouble. maybe rgs will be gone after we all commit suicide. haha no more students. sigh but really- they are killing us. tests, pts, homework. then all this pressure from school issues. then leadership restructuring. what happened to simple education? why holistic this holistic that. why leader? why care about results? dumb report slips. i say- burn down the school!
now to go to the topic of my injury. i have one thing to say about this- i will never be able to run like i used to again. anyone willing to sponsor anti-inflammatories? i use a lot so if someone could sponsor that would ease the financial burden.
best thing that happened today was i found out that i'm officially 160cm. yay. but now my new goal is to go to about 163? or so. heheh. i'm short and i need height! may i continue to grow. don't ask about weight...
disclaimer: anything said in this entry that might sound offensive or disrespectful is ficticious. (just so i don't get reprimanded by the school or something. hurhur)